If you’ve ever wondered where your libido has gone, you’ve probably also wondered at some point, “Is this something physical? There must be something going on with my hormones. Should I take a supplement?”
What’s going on?
Often that happens because a lot of women experience a drop in their libido after they have kids. It’s well known that your hormones can get kind of messed up around that time of your life. But then there’s a lot of other women who just feel like it just never was there, and so what’s going on with that?
While it may be a hormonal issue, and please go talk to your doctor because I’m clearly not one, you’re probably going to find that it has nothing to do with a hormonal imbalance. I know this not only because it was my story, but also because I’ve helped hundreds of women in this area of their lives.
It’s never been solely hormones
I always say go to your doctor and get checked out. I’ve never had someone come back and say they figured it out. Wouldn’t it be nice if it was one simple thing that was lacking so you could just pop a pill or have an injection and things would be all balanced out and you’d be good to go?
I experienced low libido for a very, very, very long time in my marriage. And when I was going through this research and trying to figure out what was going on with me, I went to my doctor, as many people do. I said, “I figured it out. I think it’s low testosterone. I’ve been doing a lot of research and this is what I’ve found. Check me out.”
I got my blood work done and lo and behold, everything was fine. My iron was fine. Even my B12 levels were fine. Everything was perfectly fine. It was so frustrating because I just wanted it to be a physical cause and a physical solution so I could just pop a pill or whatever and things would be so much easier.
Check your environment
Well, the problem is that we are completely ignoring the real causes for probably 90% of cases of low libido. We’re not even looking at the environmental factors that are going on for women. When I say environmental factors, I’m not talking about pesticides or mold in your home. No, I’m talking about the mental environment of your relationship.
Hormone supplements will not create safety for you. I’m talking about emotional safety, which is really nuanced and subtle in really happy and wonderful marriages.
They won’t decrease the pressure. If you feel pressured to do anything, what’s the most common reaction to that? It is to fight against that pressure and not want to do it.
They do not help you feel supported and loved. And they do not help you make friends with your body and your husband’s body as well. All of these things are incredibly critical for you to want sex and enjoy it.
Look for care everywhere
While I don’t want to deter anyone from getting all the proper care, I do want to encourage you to look for help everywhere. If that’s going to a doctor, please do. But I don’t want you to be focusing so much on that area that you miss these other important things that you actually need to be addressing in your marriage.
If you’re wondering what step you can take right away to help fix some of those other things that might be going on, I invite you to take a free quiz. It’s called The Four Desire Fixes, and it will give you not only your unique desire fix, but it will also give you a whole video and a whole action plan for how you can carry that out in your relationship.
I’ve had amazing feedback from this quiz and it’s helped hundreds of women already. I know I can help you as well. Go take that quiz to see what kind of environmental supplement you can take.
I’ll talk to you soon.