Your desire fix:
Prioritize Your Pleasure!
Why this desire fix is right for you!
Your life is busy and you are exhausted! Time is short and having sex just doesn't make it on your list of priorities (hello- sleep comes first!) or when it does, it's VERY hard to transition into a fun, pleasurable and uniting experience.
Women have so many responsibilities these days- we are expected to be super-moms, super-wives, super-cooks, super-employees.... super-sexual-goddesses!
In addition to this crazy high-standard, our productivity is way more valued then our pleasure- which makes enjoying anything really hard.
So the fact that your everyday pleasure meter is very low right now is not.your.fault.
Now that the blame is entirely off your shoulders, let's discover a few ways in which you can prioritize your pleasure (in everyday experiences) so that when you go to connect with your husband, you aren't trying to transition from -180 to 70!
(P.S More pleasure actually increases productivity and creativity!)
3 practical ways to implement this desire fix:
1. Extract Pleasure
Without having to spend money or find extra time, you can easily increase your pleasure quota for the day by simply extracting pleasure from your 5 senses: 1) sight 2) touch 3) smell 4) hearing and 5) taste.
You can do this right now! Take a moment to really enjoy something from one of your senses for 1 min. Maybe it's the smell of dinner in the slow cooker, the sight of the trees swaying in the wind, the warmth of your dog snuggled on your lap, the sweet sound of a silent home or the taste of the Earl Grey tea you just took a sip of.
2. Upgrade Pleasure
This is a simple and lasting exercise that my clients and program participants really love. Take a regular 'ol activity that you do like washing the dishes, driving in the car, waiting for your kids during their activities or walking the dog and add something pleasurable to it.
Maybe it's some warm, cozy mitts, nice smelling dish soap, a Spotify playlist or a new leash for your dog https://jannadentonhowes.com/6-step-class/that feels good in your hand. A little thought and intention will go a loooong way with this!
3. Plan Pleasure
If you are feeling really bold and ready to implement this Desire Fix, I invite you to plan an entire activity around pleasure. This doesn't have to be expensive or elaborate! A walk for pleasure (not exercise!) is amazing or an hour at a coffee shop with a book can REALLY boost that pleasure bank.
Who am I to tell you this stuff?
When it comes to not "wanting it". I understand it all.
For the first 14 years of my marriage, I would have way rather cleaned the toilet than hop into bed with my husband! Sure, once my engine was revved up a bit, it was okay(ish), but getting there took a serious effort.
We fought about sex all the time and I was DONE feeling used, pressured and like I was the one with the problem.
After years of unsuccessfully trying to find the solution to this frustrating (and lonely) challenge, I eventually trained to be a Marriage Coach and buckled down to develop my own methodology to solve this issue.
And what I discovered not only completely fixed the desire mismatch in my marriage but now has helped hundreds of other women and couples do the same.
Let's hang out!
here's where you can find me...