As a marriage coach, I’ve helped thousands of women with low libido and this is what I hear them say:
“I love my husband but sex feels like a chore.”
“I don’t understand why I can’t get in the mood.”
“Intimacy is the one thing we fight about.”
“I want to enjoy his touch but I cringe when he comes too close.”
As someone who’s personally experienced a lack of desire, I understand the frustration of not knowing why this is happening and how to fix it.
Being told to “just do it”, “buy some lingerie” or “have a glass of wine” can feel invalidating and lonely.
Sex can feel complicated, confusing and mysterious (but not in a good way).
Wanting It More can provide a path towards genuine connection and intimacy, even if that feels impossible right now.
Without compromising your comfort.
No matter how hard I tried to find support to increase my libido through books, professionals, workshops and supplements, nothing worked in the long term and soon I was back to feeling broken.
Inspired by seeking marriage support in my own relationship, I was drawn to train as a Marriage Coach through the Relationship Coaching Institute and soon began working with couples.
This training, combined with a decade of personal research and
experimentation, eventually led to my own healing and the framework
I teach in Wanting It More.
Wanting It More was developed after years of struggle in my own marriage.
After 10 years of marriage, Sara was burnt out and felt like she had tried everything, resigning herself to living a life in which sex didn’t work for her relationship.
Partway into the program she had the most honest conversation about sex that she had ever had with her husband. Since then they have seen such an improvement. She is so grateful that she tried one more thing before giving up.
In her sixties, Shelley was hesitant to try Wanting It More, feeling she might be too old and wondering if it would be worth it at her age.
To her pleasant surprise, the program worked wonders on her mindset and her marriage and she says it’s one of the best investments she’s ever made. She's let go of the guilt and experiences true connection and pleasure!
Dr. Laura Froyen is a family and marriage therapist, who hit some roadblocks in her own marriage, and struggled to find lasting solutions when seeking help from other doctors and therapists.
Not only did Laura find confidence in Janna's professionalism and expertise, but her marriage radically changed. Communication and connection improved and she finally felt free to express her desires like never before!
Good news, you aren’t broken!
What I’ve discovered is that there are 3 Requirements of Desire that are often overlooked (that have nothing to do with how well your body is working).
Cultural messages run deep and often unconsciously affect our libido.
They can also limit our enjoyment and ability to understand our bodies and communicate effectively with our partners. The messages that we receive about sex, our bodies and pleasure from culture, media, and our childhoods can make a huge impact on our sex lives.
We are sorely miseducated and undereducated about our body and sex drive.
How to find pleasure, what to expect desire to feel like and how to experience true satisfaction (not just a facade of the real thing) are mysteries that we are left to piece together from romance novels, hasty comments and sex scenes.
Women must feel emotionally and physically safe with their partners to want and enjoy sex.
There is a spectrum of safety from 0-100% and even in healthy marriages, unwanted comments, looks and touches can put women on the defensive, which shuts down desire. Through understanding your body and communicating your needs, you can improve this.
While this process is more involved than taking a pill, watching a hot sex scene or using tingling gel to get going, it addresses the root causes of low libido which means it’s not just a temporary solution.
This is not a quick fix. it’s a lifelong journey of discovery which I can help you start.
“When my husband 'got' what had been going on for me - society's pressure, his pressure, my own shame and belief that there was something wrong with me, his apology was so validating and freeing.”
“My thoughts have changed dramatically. I have practical phrases and tools to use and the nightly stress is GONE. COMPLETELY GONE.”
“The pressure and anxiety has been taken off of me. My husband has learned to back off and give me the space I need, which has actually made me WANT to come to him.”
“After not having any type of sexual activity with my husband for 4 months I am amazed that we have enjoyed very emotional and physically intimate moments.”
“Before, every conversation about sex would feel like walking on egg shells but now we can address it all head on and with much more vulnerability.”
“During the program, I was able to unexpectedly, have pain free (and really good) penetrative sex for the first time ever.”
“I actually WANT to do it and I look forward to our time together. I NEVER imagined eight weeks ago that the thought of having sex would actually make me smile.”
“My turning point was a very small, yet very big moment. I, for the first time in ages, initiated a hug. And I had never felt more tingly feelings in a hug since probably my dating years. It was powerful, and for the first time, I felt hope that things could change for the better.”
“There is no more pressure and I can genuinely enjoy the things that I love (such as a back tickle) without the fear of things escalating.”
“Growing up very religiously, I had developed a lot of negative thinking about sex in general and my own sexuality. This program has given me a whole new understanding of women's sexuality. I’ve realized that I AM a sexual being.”
Education (books, videos, or articles) on its own can leave you confused with how to customize the information for your unique situation.
Support (counselling, coaching, or therapy) on its own can leave you feeling like you’re the only one with the problem. I believe women heal best with “me-too” reassurance and it’s why I no longer offer private coaching.
Community (forums, support circles, or online groups) on its own can quickly become a case of confusion without a clear path forward.
Education + Support + Community = Healing
A women-only private online community (hosted on Mighty Networks) to share common challenges, get validation, and talk about sex in an understanding setting.
When education, support and community are combined, it offers a step-by-step process, customized for your unique situation, wrapped in life-giving validation and reassurance.
Here's how these 3 elements are offered in Wanting It More:
Thursdays at 1 pm Pacific: Weekly live classes via Zoom accompanied with workbooks. Each class includes a section for women, a section specifically for husbands, and a Q&A at the end. All classes are recorded and available to watch at any time, including once the programs ends.
Live weekly classes and workbooks
Mondays (10 am & 5 pm or 1 pm & 5 pm, alternating every other week to accommodate all time zones): Women are offered two times each week to get on a live group coaching call with me to answer your questions and get one-on-one support.
Coaching Call recordings are available to watch for 12 weeks, after which time they are deleted to protect your privacy.
Live group coaching calls
Private online community
You want to increase your desire to keep your husband in the relationship. (While WIM has saved marriages, it is not designed to be the last resort).
Your communication is tense, infrequent and/or explosive.
You are extremely uncomfortable sharing in a group setting.
You’re looking for specific religious guidance (this program is non-religious although you are free to share your personal experiences).
You’re experiencing emotional, physical or sexual abuse from your partner.
You’re looking for a quick fix. While the program is 8 weeks long, it often takes an average of 1 year to solidify everything you will learn. Consider this the beginning of a life-long practice.
You’re a woman and currently married to a man (this includes long-term committed relationships and folks who identify as bi-sexual. Just a heads up, I use the words “husband” and “wife” throughout the program.)
You are the spouse with lower desire.
Your marriage is in a relatively healthy place.
You have emotional space and time in your schedule (approx. 4 hours per week).
You’re receiving additional support for mental health issues if you require it.
You’ve addressed major sexual trauma with a professional. (While this program provides a tremendous amount of safety in the sexual experience, it is not designed for trauma healing).
You feel safe enough with your husband to make direct requests and to express your needs without fear of repercussion.
If you’re interested to join the program but have more questions,
here is what I can offer:
A personal chat with me to help you determine if this is a good fit for you right now.
Please email firstname.lastname@example.org
to book a 15 minute call.
I recognize that systemic injustices have disproportionately affected BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Colour) communities. Given that my program has historically been a predominantly white space, I'm taking steps to be part of the societal change leading to more equity. One such step is offering a $300 discount for BIPOC individuals.
I'm also committed to ongoing growth by learning from diversity, equity, and inclusion experts, as well as our community members.
I'm striving to be a welcoming and inclusive space, respectful of all lived experiences. If you identify as BIPOC and are interested in participating, please email me confidentially at email@example.com to receive your coupon code.
If after 2 weeks of the program, you don’t feel like it’s a good fit, I will give you a 100% refund, minus processing fees ($50).
Please take time to read this whole page and book a call before joining if you aren’t sure, as having people leave the program can be disruptive to the group.
My refund policy:
You have lifetime access to the program materials and unlimited updates as they come out in the future.
If you’re interested to join the program but have more questions,
here is what I can offer:
A personal chat with me to help you determine if this is a good fit for you right now.
Please email firstname.lastname@example.org
to book a 15 minute call.
Value: $200 USD
To help you become a stronger team, deepen your ability to understand each other and work through sensitive conversations, I’ve created a mini course called Conflict to Connection.
Value: $100 USD
This 2-part workshop is all about orgasms. How to have more satisfying orgasms and possibly one for the first time.
Value: $500 USD
Husbands will have access to a husbands-only private online community (hosted on Mighty Networks) to share common challenges, get validation, and talk about sex in an understanding setting.
The 3 module course will take you through the basics of re-establishing connection as it ebbs and flows over the timeline of Wanting It More and beyond.
I recommend waiting to watch this workshop until towards the end of Wanting It More.
I do my absolute best to provide loving, yet uncompromising, guidance.
You’ll be given a link to enter our private, online community (hosted on Mighty Networks), where all the program materials, event notifications and written discussions take place.
Next, you’ll post and read introductions from women around the world, some who may share a common experience as you. Many women report this step as feeling like a flood of relief- it’s a joy to know that you aren’t alone.
Every Thursday I teach you LIVE via Zoom about a specific path of WIM. This teaching includes a special section for your husband to listen to (if he chooses) and a Q&A at the end for you to ask any questions.
The first week is designed to prove to you that it’s not your fault and you aren’t broken. You’ll most likely end class thinking, “This makes so much sense!! Why didn’t I see this before??”
On Mondays, we’ll gather on Zoom for our weekly Group Coaching session designed to help you move through any tricky situations that may have come up. The discussions on this call often further the closeness of the community and soon you’ll know your fellow participants by name.
The messages that we have received from culture about sex and our bodies has lead us to feel broken, ashamed and confused as women. This week is about taking the blame off ourselves and learning the legitimate reasons why we feel what we feel.
For women, the prerequisite for pleasure is safety and in this week we explore all the unexpected ways to increase comfort, including boundaries, equity and attachment. It’s time to take the pressure off and create the right environment to thrive in.
Sensual scenes on TV, romance novels and even comments from our friends can create a very clear formula for how sex “should” look like in our minds. This week we develop the skill of looking inward for the answers as we redefine the role of sex in our lives.
The word “pleasure” has become synonymous with sensual pleasure and, in turn, can feel shameful and dirty. This week, we reclaim the word, as well as our birthright to experience it, as we explore ways to integrate it into our daily rhythm and grow our pleasure capacity.
We can feel estranged from our bodies for a variety of reasons including pain, weight gain, health issues and shame... none of which are our fault. Connecting with the body is a chance to develop a whole new relationship based on appreciation, compassion and awe.
Having a structure for the sexual experience helps with practicing the paths of Wanting It More with confidence. This week, learn the perfectly designed roles to enjoy satisfying intimate encounters without pressure
There are never-ending discoveries in each path and instead of seeing sex as a “success” or “failure”, it will become an opportunity to learn something new every time.
The frustration of not knowing why you don’t want sex will be replaced with simply getting back on one or more of the paths. You are given an easy self-assessment to use any time you feel like you are slipping back into old patterns.
Women often come to Wanting It More with partners in varying degrees of willingness and enthusiasm.
What I have observed is that husbands who are open to learning, adjusting and responding to their wife's new discoveries can help her implement the paths quicker, usually resulting in a faster outcome.
If your husband is reluctant to participate in relationship adjustments, change is still 100% possible but it may take longer than expected and your results may initially take the form of personal transformation.
In my experience, a partner’s pornography use can negatively affect your desire and this topic will be addressed in the program.
Some women can find a group experience about sex a little… intimidating? Awkward? Uncomfortable? This makes a lot of sense given the world we live in.
To help you with your decision, here are a few thoughts.
First, confidentiality. Everyone signs a confidentiality agreement and our discussions are hosted either on our private online forum or Zoom.
You can decide how much or how little you share with the group but greater participation generally improves your outcome.
There is always an inherent risk to sharing online regardless of how many safeguards are put in place.
The reason I take this risk, and ask others to as well, is because of the profound benefits of group support. Because sex is so shrouded in shame and secrecy, it’s incredibly healing to finally speak openly about this topic in an understanding environment.
The calls are usually profoundly moving and lasting friendships are often formed that extend after the program ends.
I strive to create an inclusive environment that makes space for all lived experiences including those with or without children, those with or without supportive husbands, those younger and older, all gender and sexual identities, those with religious and non-religious beliefs, and all cultural backgrounds.
For context, our communities are predominantly cis-gendered, heterosexual, able-bodied and white. Increasing diversity in our groups is something I’m aware of and working on.
There is no 1-1 support in Wanting It More although I guarantee there will always be time for your questions during our group coaching calls.
All coaching call recordings and our online discussion space are permanently deleted after 1 month of the program ending to protect your privacy. You'll continue to have access to the Weekly Class recordings after the program ends.
What I like to say is that this program is called “wanting” it more, not “having” it more. If you are currently having sex that you do not want, there will most likely be a decrease in the amount you have it, at least in the short term.
I define “wanting” as feeling fond of the sexual experience, missing it if it doesn’t happen and yearning for the sense of closeness, connection and intimacy it can provide.
Most women who take this program have “responsive desire” and I offer a structure for the sexual experience that honours this biological difference. It may be different than what you expect being in the mood would feel like.
While some women don’t experience this, it’s more likely than not that there will be times in this journey that will feel really uncomfortable.
The fact is- what was happening in your relationship and sex life before wasn’t working, otherwise you wouldn’t be looking for change. And change can be messy.
While my overall goal is to help you have a wonderfully intimate relationship with your husband, getting there may involve difficult conversations, periods of tension and things looking like they are getting worse before they get better.
In addition to this reality-check, I can also reassure you that I have witnessed hundreds of women come through the messy middle and find a deeper connection with their partners on the other end.
How willing your husband is can affect your timeline.
A group experience can feel vulnerable at first.
Growth isn't always linear.
Wanting it more doesn't always mean having it more.
I live on Vancouver Island, Canada with my husband of 22 years and our two daughters, ages 13 and 14.
I’m an enneagram 1, INFJ, introvert who presents as an extrovert, and HSP (if you’re into personality types and traits). My husband has ADHD which means I’m in a neurodiverse relationship and we healed from his 15 year undisclosed porn addiction, 7 years ago.
I turn 40 this year.
In terms of beliefs and values, I believe that life is more than the physical and I find a lot of fulfilment in my spiritual life.
Wanting It More is a non-religious program but it may be nice to know that I’m comfortable if you use terms such as “God”, “Universe”,“Mother Earth”, “Source”, “Divine” or nothing at all.
I can meet you where you’re at with no judgement and without any need for you to have the same beliefs as me.
I’m interested in topics related to social justice and do my best to
contribute in my local community. I acknowledge the existence of
patriarchy, white supremacy, and ableism.
Although I have chosen to support heterosexual women,
I believe that love is love.
And just to keep it real, my bedroom always has my clothes on the floor,
I secretly love watching Vanlife videos on YouTube and I enjoy
7-Eleven rootbeer slurpies.
The goal is pleasure and connection rather than intercourse and orgasm.
Feeling 100% comfortable is more important than saying “yes” to please.
Each person is the knower of their own body.
There is space to be fully yourself- messy emotions and all!
Talking is encouraged (if it feels right).
Pleasure is more important than performance.
It’s a mutual experience rather than a gift, favor or duty.
It’s a fun, enjoyable activity without the weight of being used for stress relief or proving love.
Scheduling opportunities to explore takes away the stress of initiation.
Clear boundaries provide deeper intimacy.
Melissa and her husband had a strong relationship but avoided sex because it was painful. She “joined WIM on a whim”, and was grateful to find a community of women who helped her learn that she was not alone or broken.
She has more confidence and is more self assured, not just in sex but in many areas of her life. She learned intimacy doesn’t have to equal pain and is eternally grateful to have found WIM.
Mike’s wife took Wanting it More and before the program, he felt frustrated that he was constantly pursuing her and was never being pursued. He felt unloved, unwanted and disrespected even when they did have sex, because it felt like an obligation on her part.
As his wife continued with Wanting it More, their communication improved dramatically and he was able to understand what she was going through and needed. Now he thinks their sex life is awesome - more frequent, fulfilling and fun.
Sarah believed her role was to give her husband everything he wanted. Deep down, she knew forcing herself to feel desire was a constant struggle that left her feeling lost and broken.
WIM changed everything. Sarah discovered her own needs and wants were just as important as her husband's. With newfound freedom to explore pleasure and speak her truth, she and her husband have rediscovered the joy of intimacy, and their relationship is stronger and more fulfilling than ever.
Before Callum's wife took the program, their relationship felt stale and sex was a one-sided routine. He was disappointed with his wife’s lack of desire and wanted his wife to actually enjoy the sexual experience.
After signing up for the program, Callum was pleasantly surprised when he began to see positive growth. Communication improved greatly, his wife's confidence soared and he started to see himself - and the world - in a brand new way. This new learning changed him and his marriage forever.
For thirty years, Laura and her husband were stuck in a cycle: intimacy, avoidance, resentment, then eventually intimacy again. She was about to book an appointment with an intimacy therapist when she chose to join Wanting It More instead.
Just eight weeks later, she feels an immense sense of hope for the future of her marriage. Her and her husband now have tools to experience connection in a much deeper way!
Participants find that this is a great place to feel safe to have those types of conversations not common anywhere else. You can look forward to feeling normal, being understood and receiving solid advice from a supportive group of women.
We also have a lot of fun :)
"The ladies in the online community are so supportive. There is no judgement. I truly believe the community was a huge part of healing for me. Just knowing you are not alone and being able to freely talk about your struggles and ask questions is a huge deal. Plus, we are hilarious!"
WIM has shown me that there is no one right definition of sex. While working through the paths, I have taken ownership of my life in so many ways."
I have seen MASSIVE CHANGES!! I feel safe and want to be vulnerable in our sex life. I feel more connected and in love with my husband.
I have learned to have compassion for myself as I now know that I AM NOT BROKEN.
"This program without a doubt has empowered our marriage to become the best it can be."
8 live classes, including a section for husbands and a Q&A
6 workbooks for each WIM path
16 live group coaching calls
Private online community forums (one for women, one for men)
BONUS: 8 husband support calls
BONUS: Conflict to Connection mini course
BONUS: Satisfied workshop
Wanting It More runs from Sept. 28 to Nov. 26, 2023
Deadline to join is Sept. 26 at 9 p.m. Pacific
This program is specifically designed for women to complete on their own although I provide 8 class lessons and 8 additional group support calls for husbands if he wants to be involved.
You'll have access to the weekly class recordings for as long as the program exists (which I plan on being for a very, very long time.) You'll have access to the coaching call recordings for one month after the programs ends, after which they are deleted for privacy reasons.
Many women are concerned that I'll be asking them to do things that they feel uncomfortable with. Have no fear! This program is not about "spicing things up", it's about learning how to listen to your intuition to feel even more comfortable after the program.
Although I don't specifically speak about religious beliefs in the program (to make sure everyone feels safe and included), it is my personal belief that sex is Divinely created and designed specifically for the purposes of unity, joy and bonding in a marriage. I ALWAYS encourage everyone to trust what feels good first and follow my recommendations second.
While I am not a physician or physiotherapist (which I will always encourage you to go see), this program has helped many women who experienced physical pain with intercourse. Now they experience pleasure and relaxation in the sexual experience, even though it might not always involve penetration.
This program creates a structure of safety and support in the sexual experience so I find that most women who have experienced trauma greatly benefit from it. However, it is not within the scope of this group program to heal trauma.
If after 2 weeks of the program, you don’t feel like it’s a good fit, I will give you a 100% refund, minus processing fees ($50). Please take time to read this whole page and book a call before joining if you aren’t sure, as having people leave the program can be disruptive to the group.
Mondays: Women's Coaching Call at 10 am & 5 pm or 1 pm and 5 pm Pacific, alternating every other week to accommodate all time zones.
Tuesdays: Husband Support Call at 1 pm Pacific.
Thursdays: Live Class at 1 pm Pacific
All events are recorded.