Have you ever felt at some point in your married life, “Why don’t I want sex like ever? Why does it feel unnatural, not spontaneous and definitely not hot and exciting like in the movies? What is wrong with me?”
I think a lot of people think that the only way to stop fighting about sex is to have it more. One person wants it less. And the other person wants to have it more. And the fighting is about not having it enough.
So it makes sense that the person who doesn’t want it as much will think, “Well, if I just somehow fix myself or somehow force myself to do it or somehow make it happen, then we’ll stop fighting about it and it will be all okay.” This is why women who come into my community often report feeling like there’s something wrong with them, that they’re broken, that they have to fix it.
If you’ve ever wondered where your libido has gone, you’ve probably also wondered at some point, “Is this something physical? There must be something going on with my hormones. Should I take a supplement?”
There is so much judgment about sex drives in our culture, and so talking about when they are mismatched is not as simple as it seems. So in today’s blog I’m going to be talking about what to do when your sex drives do not match.
I think the majority of us have all been there. It’s been a while. You’ve had a dry spell and you’re feeling kind of awkward and nervous about getting into it. Here’s why I think it’s so challenging for us after some time. And I am like the queen of dry spells, believe me. I went for two periods of a year long in my marriage and lots of periods of months at a time of dry spells. So I know what it’s like and it’s super hard getting back in the saddle. Here’s why it’s awkward and hard.
When I was on the hunt to figure out what to do about my lack of desire to be with my husband in the bedroom, I was looking for solutions everywhere and I couldn’t find any. In fact, the solutions I found were, “Just do it. It’s good for your marriage.” Thanks. Super helpful.
So thankfully, years and years later, I have now figured out a solution and I’m going to share it with you today. And not only are you going to get the solutions, but you’re going to be able to figure out which one is specifically for you right now, which is really exciting because who wants generic advice? Not me.
The most common advice that I hear women get if they want to want it more, is to “just do it.” This advice makes me cringe because it’s so detrimental to women’s health and for wanting it more in the long term. Even though so many marriage professionals, and therapists, and counselors give this advice, it doesn’t work. So today I’m going to tell you what to do instead.
Can we ever really balance everything in our lives? I get asked a lot how I balance being a mom and intimacy. Because there are a lot of things about motherhood that negatively impact your intimacy, so that is what I am talking about. I hope that you feel validated, and you feel normal as you read this blog. I want you to feel hopeful as well. There are some simple things that you can do to make it all balance out as much as possible.
Today, I’m going to deviate a little bit from the how to’s and tips and tricks and just tell you my story. I think it’s one that a lot of women need to hear and I think it’s important to know who I am and where I come from.
Did you know that almost 97% of women report hating their bodies at some point in their lives? I think that is totally insanity. But it is a reality and I think it’s probably not shocking to anyone of us here. We all know that most women struggle with their body image. Today I’ll be talking about how to enjoy intimacy when you don’t love your body.