The last couple of days, I’ve been having to deal with some really scary stuff for me, and it all revolves around taxes and GST garbley-goop (yes, that’s a word, I just invented it). If you’re Canadian, you’ll know what I’m talking about. I’ve been on the phone with the government, panicking and feeling generally overwhelmed and basically losing my mind.
In the midst of this, I’ve really needed my husband. It hasn’t gone completely smoothly because generally speaking, I will just unload, and he’ll sit there at 11:00 at night wondering, “is she ever going to stop talking?” For example, last night, he was very sweet… but he did say, “My love, you can complain for five more minutes, and then it’s time to go to sleep,” which I admittedly, did not take very well. Since then however, we’ve come back together and he has really affirmed that he’s here for me. Whatever I need, he’ll be the hero, he’ll call my accountant, whatever it is. And I have really appreciated and needed that, because this life is not meant to be done alone.
I’m a Bahá’í, and in the Bahá’í writings, it talks about two really important things that marriage is about – one is being helpmates, and the other is being intimate friends. I love that, because the helpmate aspect of it is so pro-practical. You need someone to just live life with and go through all the complications of running a household, and all the taxes stuff, and dealing with the general logistics of life… and also, you need someone who is going to say, “Go for your dreams. I’m here, I’m part of your team. I’m supporting you. I believe in you.” Even something simple like, my husband needs to buy new glasses, and he just wants me to be around to tell him if they look good on his face. It’s all part of being a helpmate.
We need each other. And I know marriage is hard… exquisitely hard sometimes. But when you are benefiting from what marriage gives you, it is incredible to have that kind of support. And then of course, the intimate friends aspect is so essential as well. It’s important that you have someone who knows you that closely, who is more intimate with you than anybody else in your life – your children, your family, your friends, but who is also a friend. Yes, there’s the intimate part, but then there’s also the friend part, and the friend part is having someone you can have fun with, and relax with, and goof-off with, and just experience joy and happiness with. We need that in this life, so I hope that you can see how incredible it is to have someone that you can run to.
If you are in that position right now, I’m just so happy for you. And if you’re in a position right now where you’re thinking, “I can’t even imagine my relationship being in that place”, I just want to tell you that it’s just around the corner.
If you want even more support, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I hope you have a great day! Go forth and be there for each other.