Hi, it’s me Janna and I have my period today. If you could see me right now. My hair is not fully dry. Yes, I’m still clipping my roots and I haven’t put on makeup, but that’s just how I feel like today. And so I thought it was very fitting that I talk about having sex while on your period today.
Have you ever been curious of other women? Have you wondered what other women do? Or if you just decided to not have sex while you’re on your period, this is the blog for you.
Right now I’m feeling unmotivated. I’m feeling tired, I’m feeling grumpy. And I’ve done some things to try to make myself feel better, like having some food and going for a walk. I bought some nice face cream and deep conditioned my hair. But, nothing’s really worked. And sometimes that’s what happens during the sexual experience. So let’s be real today. I hope I’m always real, but today I’m getting like super real.
Can I just cancel?
So what do I do when it’s our scheduled sexy time? Because if you have been around for awhile, you know that we schedule having sex because we’re busy and I have responsive desire. There’s many reasons for it. It’s an intimacy heartbeat in our marriage. If we don’t schedule it, I forget that I like it, and then we never have it. Hello responsive desire.
So it’s on Saturdays. And what happens when Saturday rolls around and I have my period? Well, I could cancel it. It’s fully within my rights. But I don’t want to, because that’s a really important part of being married for me and I miss it and I miss my husband if we skip it. And so here’s what I do and then I’ll talk about what I’ve heard other women do.
I become Queen Janna
I wear whatever I want to wear. If that’s pajama bottoms or full-on pajamas, everything or naked. That last one is not usually the case when I’m on my period because you know, leakage. But I do whatever I want.
If I want a heat pack. If I need to take some Tylenol. If I want my husband to make me breakfast. If I want to have a cup of tea. I basically treat myself like the queen and make requests for my husband for whatever I need. I don’t worry about what I look like. We don’t need to worry about performance in the sexual experience. It’s about pleasure. And pleasure and performance can’t exist together.
I touch him for me
I’m pretty sensitive when I’m on my period, just my whole body is. So, normally, I touch my husband for my pleasure. Which means that I don’t have to worry about my body being too sensitive to being touched. And I just experience touching my husband’s body wherever I want to, however I want to.
I usually talk a lot during this time. I will be touching his body. He will be relaxing and I will be talking about anything and everything. What I’m going to do that day, my worries, my excitement, my fears, anything that’s coming up. Usually around the time of my period I am more anxious, so I need more of that.
When you want more than touching
Now, what if you want penetration? Because in fact, I did a survey recently and 13% of women who took the survey out of 350 women reported that they wanted sex more often during their period. And that’s fine. I mean we all have hormonal peaks and fluctuations at different times.
For me, it’s after my period where I have a little bit of a peak sometimes. It’s not every single cycle because I’m amazing and unique and I don’t work like a robot. And you shouldn’t have to either. But if you want that, then you can have sexy time in the shower. Or you can put down towels. I mean, what’s a little menstrual blood? Not a huge deal.
I’ve also heard of women using a diaphragm. Because as you know, your menstrual blood comes out of your cervix and your cervix is inside of your vagina. Your cervix can be covered by a diaphragm.
There is more than just your vagina
Also, it’s good to remember that your vagina is just part of your whole genital area. Your clitoris, which is the main event when it comes to your nerve endings, is outside of that area. And so if you use a menstrual cup or tampons, you have so much more available to you and since more of your genital area doesn’t have to be covered in blood.
There are so many options
So what I’m trying to say is that there’s so many ways to experience sexual pleasure together. You can choose to do something like I normally do, which is touch my husband for my own pleasure and use connection pleasure and talking pleasure, which I really enjoy. If you want to figure out a way to keep the mess from, you know, staining your whole bed, well that’s another option. Or if you want to use something like a tampon or a cup and use the rest of your beautiful body, go for it. I mean there are just so many options.
You don’t have to miss out on that time
What I do encourage you to do is, number one, schedule sex because it’s great. And then when you do schedule it, make sure that you don’t just put it aside because you are on your period. You can have sex that feels like it “counts” or is right. You can have so many different experiences and not miss out on that time with your husband. And also not miss out on it for yourself. You need the oxytocin and dopamine, endorphins and all the feel-good hormones that come along with pleasure. Whether that’s sexual pleasure or any other type of pleasure that you’re going to have, like talking with him.
Just show up
So yes, today’s blog was a little bit rambly, but that’s because I’m feeling rambly and I’m going to show up the way I’m showing up. Just like I encourage you to show up to the sexual experience just the way you are. You don’t have to pretend to be something else. You don’t have to work up to feeling your best. You don’t have to be super sexual and into it.
You can just be the person you are and be with your husband, who is the person he is, and have some fun together. It doesn’t have to be amazing or the best experience ever, just something that brings you a little bit of enjoyment and a little bit of connection. So that’s what I encourage you guys to do.
I will talk to you later.