Being an empowered woman in the bedroom…
What did you think of just now reading those words?
What are the images that pop up into your mind?
When I tell someone that I am a sex coach, they'll often imagine that I'm having these wild and crazy experiences with my husband or maybe someone else. They’ll envision that I have a box of goodies including handcuffs, whips and chains. Then they’ll look at me and think I look pretty wholesome and feel a bit confused. Culture has made it so we have certain thoughts about what sexually empowered should look like.
Pause for a moment and think if you have been (and maybe still are) stuck in this mindset. This isn’t your fault. The cultural message is so strong. It's what leads women to say to me, "What's wrong with me that I don't like being called sexy. What's wrong with me that I don't want oral sex? What's wrong with ME?" Unfortunately we equate that to not being courageous, not being empowered, not being a fierce feminist. It's wild to me.
Being empowered in the bedroom does mean that you are using your voice. Which means that you are saying a firm no when you do not like something. It also means saying yes when you DO like something.
I hope that was a good check in for you so that the next time you're thinking about improving your sex life you know what the actual meaning of empowered in the bedroom truly is. I won’t lead you down the path of someone who loves lingerie, or whips and chains, or can lay there naked and have her husband do whatever he wants to her. That is not the path I'm leading you towards. I'm leading you towards actually listening to and trusting yourself, giving yourself permission, setting boundaries, and using your voice. That's what it means to be a sexually empowered woman.
I am in your corner,