Why would you want to fix your low libido?

This is a question that I pondered many times in the journey to increase my desire. On the one hand, I was eager to want sex more and, on the other, I was resentful towards my husband for not having to carry the weight of being “the broken one”.

So if you are 50% wanting to fix your low libido and 50% just never wanting to have sex again for the rest of your life… that’s okay!

But I really don’t want you to miss out.

Why would you want to fix your low libido?

This is a question that I pondered many times in the journey to increase my desire. On the one hand, I was eager to want sex more and, on the other, I was resentful towards my husband for not having to carry the weight of being “the broken one”.

So if you are 50% wanting to fix your low libido and 50% just never wanting to have sex again for the rest of your life… that’s okay!

But I really don’t want you to miss out.

Here are 3 reasons WHY you would want to fix your low libido (before we get into the HOW).

1) A regular sex life (that 100% works for you). This will be a connection heartbeat in your marriage.

2) Pleasure increases productivity and creativity.

3) Sex can be a self-care practice that will boost your mood AND your physical health (let’s get you more oxytocin, dopamine and endorphins!)

Now that I’ve hopefully convinced you that fixing your low libido is a worthwhile experiment, let’s get into the HOW:

1) Stop seeing yourself as “low” in anything.

I actually hate the terms “low sex drive” and “low libido”.

This is because you (and I) aren’t low in anything. After working with hundreds and hundreds of married women who would be traditionally given this label, I’ve realized that there is nothing wrong with US and everything wrong with the environment that we are in. There’s too much pressure, not enough safety and a complete lack of proper education.

When you change your mindset from, “I’m broken” to “I’m just fine thank-you-very-much”, you open up possibilities and hope!

2) Create clear boundaries

As I mentioned above, if you are feeling unsafe at any point during your experiences with your husband, whether in or out of the bedroom, fixing your low libido will be impossible.

Even if your husband is the sweetest guy in the world, if he is slapping your butt (and you don’t like it), making uncomfortable sexual jokes about you (that cause that inner cringe) or not paying attention to your requests in the bedroom, your body will shut down.

3) Schedule Sex

I like to call them “Exploration Dates” and these have been LIFE CHANGING for my sex life (and for the Wanting it More participants).

I think the most common misconception about low libido is that if we don’t desire sex BEFORE the sexual experience, there is something wrong.

Not at all!!!

Schedule an experience with your husband in which YOU lead (again, we need safety). And then follow your pleasure through it. Create those clear boundaries and see yourself as a well-functioning sexual women.

The process, while simple, can have a few barriers along the way. I encourage you to surround yourself with messages of worthiness, equity and empowerment to make sure that you prioritize YOUR experience in the bedroom.

I hope these 3 tips have been helpful to help YOU fix your low libido.