You're a mom. You're touched out and exhausted from providing needs for children all day long.
At the end of the day, the last thing you want to do is hop into bed with your husband and provide yet another need for another person.
You're not craving intimacy...you're craving alone time!
You're craving time where nobody is touching you and you don't have to meet anybody else's expectations.
Yet, at the same time, you want to want sex and enjoy it. You don't want to have a sexless marriage.
Here are three truths to consider to help you find a solution for yourself in your own busy life.
Truth #1: You have a right to space.
You have a basic human right to have space. Space from people, from expectations, from your husband's touch, and from your kid's touch.
You can set boundaries with your children and with your husband to have space.
You can walk away. You can leave the kids with your husband or your husband with the kids. Whatever you need to do.
You have a right as an individual to mental space and to physical space.
Until you have that space, you won't have an opportunity to want because you'll always be pushing people away.
Truth #2: Sex isn't about meeting someone's needs.
We get fed this terrible message that says your husband has a need and you just have to suck it up as a good wife and provide it for him.
That is not sex. That is somebody using somebody else for their own advantage.
Sex is about coming together and having that mutual connection and pleasure that both of you can enjoy.
Without that intention, sex feels icky and gross, not something that you're looking for and wanting.
Truth #3: Touch is about nourishment and pleasure.
If touch doesn't feel like nourishment and pleasure, then do not do it.
Ask yourself...what kind of touch, in this stage of your life, feels nourishing and pleasurable?
Is it a massage?
Is it a tight squeeze?
Is it having someone run their hands through your hair?
Is it a gentle and caring?
Is it a touch of doesn't have expectation or pressure on it?
I hope these truths have sparked some ideas of what's possible in your life and what rights you have as a woman.
I have seen these basic truths put into practice with thousands of women, leading them to more nourishing, connecting, pleasurable, and regular sexual experiences.
If you'd like to learn more about my Wanting It More program, sign up for the waitlist at jannadentonhowes.com/wantingitmore.